Omg I am actually posting on this blog aft centuries but im lazy to create a new one so..
So 2017... a year i learnt alot? A year i suffered alot too. And a year where i learnt alot of things . Good and bad:) So chronology of disasters lined up this year..
Jan 2017: A friendship breakup.
This month was the most deceiving month of the year i would say. Reason? I never expected it to turn out so bad while it started so well. Sometimes I wonder why cant people just sit down and talk to u on their issues? Instead of just avoiding them... avoiding the person.. avoiding the friendship and avoiding the memories. That is just plain selfish because why would you want to dump someone who did so much for you since young and its 7 precious years of friendship and you thought letting it go three times was a good decision? So one fine day he decided to just end all of this... i was supposedly invited for his POP but he just stopped msging me from camp or even if he did it was just about his clique? And one fine day he just stopped talking? Why would I want to remain in this friendship that turned out to be so deceiving. As tho silence was the cure? Till now i dont understand what happened because what did i ever do? I wish i had all these answers.. I wish i was not treated like this? It happened once in may 2013 and dec 2015 and i think it finally called for an end in jan 2017.. What should i say? This was abit better to handle because I've seen rehearsals:'). But the pain that this is a forever thing will take time to heal.. days..weeks...month.. So that was a big kickstart to the year.
Feb - April 2017: Coping
These few months were nothing short of a suffering. Accepting reality, coming to terms with the past is just so painful? These unanswered questions will just haunt me every night, dreams of happiness . and reconciliation will just rub in the next morning. Long trips home are just to dwell and dwell. But most imptly i learnt to be stronger than ever. But that didnt mean i wasnt crumbling on the inside. Coping with all these already took up this quarter.. Needless to say on the piling school projects, which just adds on to stress me up.
May - July 2017 : Betrayal
Damn son.. this was probably the worst 2 months of the year. I still think over this and just feel disgusted, angry, creeped out at same time find it so funny seeing all this drama. How can someone...tell group A that he has been "ill-treated" by me because i turn a cold shoulder on him and all that rubbish and to another group of ppl he claims that im annoying. I mean firstly WTF LA. It is because S told me that maybe yguys should talk it out because he wants to talk to u. And that was the main reason i confronted him . Basically the worst mistake because.. it just turned out to be another disaster. Even after reconciling he was doing things behind my back and talking shit. Worst still fighting on the streeets. Damn son, you really need to grow up because you disgust me so badly now. This is a whole new level of betrayal cos when u decide to give a 2 faced snake another chance, you realise that a snake will ALWAYS be a snake. Im not blaming anyone here because S was genuinely concerned for us and didnt want us to cold war anymore but this is only going to continue... Lets hope you will stop creeping on me, talking shit about me to every person every year. Stop it ok. Im gnuinely tired of this. 7 years and counting son. You gotta grow up.
Ps: My worst case scenario is now if he enters my campus . Lets hope and pray this doesn't happen because honestly school is my safe haven and idw anyone to be destroying my peace there.
These entries are summarized but yeah theres alot more to these summaries . Alot more emotions alot more lessons learnt. It is quite sad alot of things had to end on a bad note. I only hope these people get a taste of their own medicine and yknw how it feels to cheat on someone or dump someone with no reason or whatsoever.
Some things just scarred me for now... Ever since the breakup, going to tampines is a challenge.. Not having to breakdown or go in with a broken heart is a challenge. Not having to recall anything at ljs or jco is a challenge. This year i dare not enter the jco outlet in t1 because that was our last meeting and last picture and last time we laughed out loud , the last time we were the bestest of friends. And looking at it could get my eyes teary. Even buying the donut makes me feel uneasy occasionally (in other outlets) . So these things really really affect me so badly. Entering tamp mall... sitting at ljs without having to look at the table we sat and had our last meal together as friends is hard to not look at.. Walking down the lanes we last talked is hard to not remember about... Im glad mac cafe closed or it would have been a bitter memory too:'). In fact tampines hub gives me the same feel probably because it is so close to tm and t1. These things.. these memories will be so hard to erase. In fact i will never want to erase it. Gifts like the bag.. probably the first n last gift i received wont be thrown away.. ill still use it am still using becuase i know im strong enough to carry it out.. Oh well my last challenge is to really come to terms with the past and be able to cherish them without breaking down . Because yknw.. the memories were the sweetest and that is the best part of friendship:'). And i will always want to rmb how good of a person i used to be with him and how good of a best friend he used to be and to remind myself this behaviour of his NOW is totally unacceptable and unforgivable. One of my resolution for 2018 is probably to walk into JCO without having to ever breakdown again:-) That will be the greatest challenge becuase my heart crumbles even as i pass by jco from a grab car. I hope one day i will be able to cherish these memories without my heart crumbling. God willing
So 2017... a year i learnt alot? A year i suffered alot too. And a year where i learnt alot of things . Good and bad:) So chronology of disasters lined up this year..
Jan 2017: A friendship breakup.
This month was the most deceiving month of the year i would say. Reason? I never expected it to turn out so bad while it started so well. Sometimes I wonder why cant people just sit down and talk to u on their issues? Instead of just avoiding them... avoiding the person.. avoiding the friendship and avoiding the memories. That is just plain selfish because why would you want to dump someone who did so much for you since young and its 7 precious years of friendship and you thought letting it go three times was a good decision? So one fine day he decided to just end all of this... i was supposedly invited for his POP but he just stopped msging me from camp or even if he did it was just about his clique? And one fine day he just stopped talking? Why would I want to remain in this friendship that turned out to be so deceiving. As tho silence was the cure? Till now i dont understand what happened because what did i ever do? I wish i had all these answers.. I wish i was not treated like this? It happened once in may 2013 and dec 2015 and i think it finally called for an end in jan 2017.. What should i say? This was abit better to handle because I've seen rehearsals:'). But the pain that this is a forever thing will take time to heal.. days..weeks...month.. So that was a big kickstart to the year.
Feb - April 2017: Coping
These few months were nothing short of a suffering. Accepting reality, coming to terms with the past is just so painful? These unanswered questions will just haunt me every night, dreams of happiness . and reconciliation will just rub in the next morning. Long trips home are just to dwell and dwell. But most imptly i learnt to be stronger than ever. But that didnt mean i wasnt crumbling on the inside. Coping with all these already took up this quarter.. Needless to say on the piling school projects, which just adds on to stress me up.
May - July 2017 : Betrayal
Damn son.. this was probably the worst 2 months of the year. I still think over this and just feel disgusted, angry, creeped out at same time find it so funny seeing all this drama. How can someone...tell group A that he has been "ill-treated" by me because i turn a cold shoulder on him and all that rubbish and to another group of ppl he claims that im annoying. I mean firstly WTF LA. It is because S told me that maybe yguys should talk it out because he wants to talk to u. And that was the main reason i confronted him . Basically the worst mistake because.. it just turned out to be another disaster. Even after reconciling he was doing things behind my back and talking shit. Worst still fighting on the streeets. Damn son, you really need to grow up because you disgust me so badly now. This is a whole new level of betrayal cos when u decide to give a 2 faced snake another chance, you realise that a snake will ALWAYS be a snake. Im not blaming anyone here because S was genuinely concerned for us and didnt want us to cold war anymore but this is only going to continue... Lets hope you will stop creeping on me, talking shit about me to every person every year. Stop it ok. Im gnuinely tired of this. 7 years and counting son. You gotta grow up.
Ps: My worst case scenario is now if he enters my campus . Lets hope and pray this doesn't happen because honestly school is my safe haven and idw anyone to be destroying my peace there.
These entries are summarized but yeah theres alot more to these summaries . Alot more emotions alot more lessons learnt. It is quite sad alot of things had to end on a bad note. I only hope these people get a taste of their own medicine and yknw how it feels to cheat on someone or dump someone with no reason or whatsoever.
Some things just scarred me for now... Ever since the breakup, going to tampines is a challenge.. Not having to breakdown or go in with a broken heart is a challenge. Not having to recall anything at ljs or jco is a challenge. This year i dare not enter the jco outlet in t1 because that was our last meeting and last picture and last time we laughed out loud , the last time we were the bestest of friends. And looking at it could get my eyes teary. Even buying the donut makes me feel uneasy occasionally (in other outlets) . So these things really really affect me so badly. Entering tamp mall... sitting at ljs without having to look at the table we sat and had our last meal together as friends is hard to not look at.. Walking down the lanes we last talked is hard to not remember about... Im glad mac cafe closed or it would have been a bitter memory too:'). In fact tampines hub gives me the same feel probably because it is so close to tm and t1. These things.. these memories will be so hard to erase. In fact i will never want to erase it. Gifts like the bag.. probably the first n last gift i received wont be thrown away.. ill still use it am still using becuase i know im strong enough to carry it out.. Oh well my last challenge is to really come to terms with the past and be able to cherish them without breaking down . Because yknw.. the memories were the sweetest and that is the best part of friendship:'). And i will always want to rmb how good of a person i used to be with him and how good of a best friend he used to be and to remind myself this behaviour of his NOW is totally unacceptable and unforgivable. One of my resolution for 2018 is probably to walk into JCO without having to ever breakdown again:-) That will be the greatest challenge becuase my heart crumbles even as i pass by jco from a grab car. I hope one day i will be able to cherish these memories without my heart crumbling. God willing
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